Maybe it's not like i planned to, but I'm not having much time to post in every blog. Since this blog does not have much posts, and I'm planning something surprising, I will no longer continue to post here. I know, i know, it's not a valid excuse, but if you knew what's going on my head, you'll understand. Besides, you can still read me, in my spanish-written blog. I hate good-byes, so SEE YA!
About a month ago, I've presented myself for a scolarship to study in the United States. Since one of the pre-requisites to apply for it was to write a personal essay saying why would someone like to study abroad, and specifically on the States, I have no clue on what would be the questions tomorrow (assuming they've read what I wrote). Assuming some of the questions will be personal ones (as Do you smoke?, or similar), the one's left remains as a mystery to me. Suggestions? Things that come to my mind would be:
- What do you think of terrorism?
- Have you been in prison?
- Why would you like to study in the States, over another country?
- Would you consider to live in the States?
- Do you consider yourself better than other appliers to this scolarship?
- What makes you think you deserve this scolarship?
- Name all the 50/51 States
- Are you snoring?
The day before yesterday, a friend of mine from the UK, Z, called me to catch up. We met over the Internet, and since then (about three or four years ago), we call each other, whether to practise my english and his spanish, to catch up on each other's life, to say Merry Christmas or Happy New Year, or drunk dials -hehe, I have a message of him in my answering machine, where he is totally wasted, hahaha-. One of the subjects we talked about was employment rates and salaries. Well, he was quite amused and shocked with the salaries you get here in Uruguay. In England, an average salary is about 4000 U$D, while in Uruguay, you can mantain a house on your own with a 400 U$D salary -as a good payment-. On the other hand, cost of life is way more cheap here than in the UK -or Europe-, besides it's a matter of logic and reason because of our wages, altough in terms of technology costs are almost the same. So he wanted to invest here -on a banana plantation, if García Márquez hears, he would have a heart attack-, or at least work here to gain experience. And he encountered two difficulties:
- His spanish is quite limited, we joked about he working as a dish washer.
- Payment is low, but if it is a salary good enough for living here, that wouldn't be an issue.
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows. You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.
A CANADIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEWFOUNDLAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
This has got to be one of the cleverest E-mails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE GAUTENG: When you rearrange the letters: GET A GUN THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER