9/11/2007

Three lawyer jokes

1) A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!" The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!" 2) A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer. The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?" "Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer. On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer. 3) A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. "It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us." The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"

10 comments:

The Usual Stuff said...

I was laughing my head off.
Jokes I tell young English students:

Where do penguins keep their money?
In a snowbank.

Why does the hummingbird hum?
'Cause he doesn't remember the lyrics.

Why do ducks fly south?
'Cause it's too far to get there walking.

And my favorite, for adults only:
What's the resemblance between a submarine and a penis?
Both are long, wide and full of sea-men

Got it?

YosoyineS said...

Hahahahahaahahahahahahaahaha!! Sure i got it, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaHAHA

XOXOXOXOXO

Rubia Lulú said...

No entiendo la gracia de este blog.
Está todo escrito en inglés, lleno de errores de estudiante de nivel intermedio.

¿Alguien me explica cuál es la joda?

Besos,
Lulú.

Rubia Lulú said...

Sos vos, Inés!!!!
Boluda, qué es esto?!
Besos,
Lulú.

YosoyineS said...

Jajaja, Lulú, tengo un blog pa postear boludeces en inglés y practicar mi inglés que está muy oxidado.

Pero me parece que en cualquier momento lo vuelo al carajo. Besotes!

The Usual Stuff said...

Well, somebody finally spilt the beans. If you are trully interested in improving your English, you should continue trying, and be open to correction (which I have had no heart to make), but I do tell you this: a fluent written and oral communication in English is the door to better positions and more money. For instance, my current employer didn't hire me precisely because of my beautiful face, but for my English skills.
Only managers make more money than I do...

Amor said...

the three jokes are very similar

amor,

digo
love

:-)

krystyna said...

Hi YosoyineS!
I read (Welcome section)that here is the place for naive people too. Beacause I am naive and my English needs the forbearance I enjoyed your today's post and it made my mood cheerful. Thanks!

krystyna said...

I found you through WUB, but I have problem to write the comment on WUB.
Really I don't know what to say in this issue (WUB). I'm sad that women in many countries are discriminating.
Peace, Love and Happiness be with you and with your country.
Blessings from Poland (actually I live in USA).

YosoyineS said...

@The Usual Stuff: But i'm open to criticism, but i actually don't have time to keep all the blogs updated, and my english blog is farr the less updated. Besides, i don't know what to publish here.

Lots of kisses!!

@Amor: Yeah, but i liked them so i posted them :D XoXo

@Krystyna: Hey! How are you! Thanx!!. Yeap, it's sad that women are discirimnating. Hugs from Uruguay!!